I was reading the "What to expect when you're expecting" book last night. Opened it at random:
Kate went to prenatal swimming class at the Y yesterday! And I'm trying to remember all the words to "He who has plenty of patent-reversible sit-on-and-mash-em operatic silk plug hats, and giveth his neighbor none", so I can teach young Hezekiah about responsibility.
Which, hopefully, will keep the young infant from growing up writing USELESS PREGNANCY ADVICE.
"LISTERIAWTF? How is that useful to ANYBODY IN THE WORLD? Jeezum PETE, no wonder moms are percieved as worry-warts with that kind of advice. "It's dangerous. How to avoid it: 1) It's everywhere. 2) Be careful." Gloria Steinem was right; you'd never see this:
Listeria is a bacteria that [yadda yadda] respiratory failure, convulsions [yadda yadda] common and dangerous [yadda yadda]"
Precautions to take:
- Listeria is common in the food supply.
- Expectant mothers should be careful when handling and preparing food."
"The Wall Street Journal Stock Market TipsOkay, pregnancy books: FUCK YOU.
Many people lose money in the stock market and become unwashed, unloved bums.
Precautions to take:
- This happens to many people.
- Try not to lose your money."
Kate went to prenatal swimming class at the Y yesterday! And I'm trying to remember all the words to "He who has plenty of patent-reversible sit-on-and-mash-em operatic silk plug hats, and giveth his neighbor none", so I can teach young Hezekiah about responsibility.
Which, hopefully, will keep the young infant from growing up writing USELESS PREGNANCY ADVICE.
